Monday, August 31, 2009

Never settle for less than a fairy tale

"Now girls... I want you to make a list of the qualities and characteristics you look for in a future husband." A line I heard way too often as a teenager in Young Women's (a form of Sunday School). However, back then, I knew exactly what I wanted in a future husband. Being that I had had my eyes set on one particular boy my whole life up to that point, I wanted my future husband to be at least 6 foot tall, blond, blue eyed, has double letters in his last name, someone who played sports, someone who was nice, HOT, and knew how to spell. And, of course I had to throw in wants a temple marriage and is a return missionary just to make my young women leaders happy. There were quite a few other shallow qualities I wanted and I thought as long as the guy I marry was tall enough and hot enough, we'd be happy... FOREVER!

When I finally turned 16 and was allowed to date, I dated nearly every low life there was. I dated them 1. to make my mom mad and 2. because I lived in a place I hated at the time and didn't want to get stuck in that town forever so by dating people that I knew it wouldn't last with, I knew I would be outta there right after graduation. I went off to college, dated some more, and after a few years of college ended back in Vegas (my hometown). I went to Vegas with a few more things to add to my list of what I was looking for in a guy. I definitely DID NOT want to marry a smoker, someone who still lived at home with his parents, or someone that didn't have their own form of transportation (that means they needed their own bus pass too).

Upon moving back to Vegas, one of my really good guy friends from Podunkville, that I had a HUGE crush on in high school, told me he wanted to move to Vegas to pursue his career and to date me. I was super stoked! He moved to Vegas by summer end and we got an apartment together. Everything was perfect for the first few months. Then reality set in. Every time I thought, great, we're getting along, things would go into shambles.

Our lease was renewing and I was determined to get my own place, but after some sweet talking, I ended up signing another lease with Mr WasWonderful. I know... idiot. After another year of living with him, and losing who I was as a person, my sister showed up at the apartment, packed my stuff and took me to her house. Don't get me wrong. Mr WasWonderful is an amazing person. He truly is a genuine wonderful person, I just couldn't see myself living with him for the rest of my days.
While living with my sister (who had just gotten out of a relationship and was revamping herself), I found the little sparkle inside me that I use to have before Mr WasWonderful. [One night, for homework, I had to ask people what their best advice to me is. My moms boyfriend told me, Jess, if you don't love yourself, no one will ever be able to love you.]

My new mission was not to find someone to fall in love with, but to fall in love with myself. Journal of Love Entry 12/25/2004 Loving Yourself
A few personal goals to improve myself mentally and physically.

1. Dress Modestly
2. Be even more charitable

3. Finish School
4. Stop swearing completely

5. be more unified w/ family
6. Early to bed; Early to rise

7. Exercise

8. Eat healthier

9. Only watch, listen and read uplifting entertainment

10. Only date guys w/ high standards (that's if I dated anyone)

11. Pray more often

12. Read scriptures

1
3. Write in a journal
14. Observe Sunday

15. Don't spend money on unnecessary things

16. Stay w/ positive people


I started becoming active in church again, I started gaining friends again and life was finally looking up. After a few months, I was feeling great about myself and life. Now that I finally cared about myself again, I figured I would start actively dating again... that's if the demand was high enough for Jessica's. I didn't want to just date anyone though. One night I wrote down MY GUY: in my love journal. First thing was Responsible - financially, able to buy a car, house, and provide food/clothing for family, doesn't necessarily have to be a return missionary - but must possess those qualities (i.e. testimony, dealing w/ a person you hate/love, etc.), tall perfect teeth, absolutely gorgeous, beautiful smile - smiles a lot, caring, is okay with the fact that he'll have to be mine and only mine for eternity, can deal with others differences, cleans up after himself, knows the honor of serving others, has a strong testimony, likes to dance, is good at dancing, will take me on carriage rides, traditional, laughs at my jokes when they aren't funny, won't put me down. Funny how this is only the beginning. I went on for 5 pages about what I wanted in a future husband. The list continues... dresses like he just stepped out of a magazine, opens my doors, is proud of the quirky, silly, successful person I am, loves all my faults, sings great and will serenade me on occasion, helps me keep the romance alive in our relationship, plays an instrument, cooks great meals on occasion, will have great communication with me, snores, is cautious about personal hygiene, smells like a GQ magazine, has and keeps a respectable job, still looks great at 75 yrs of age, great kisser, loves to give and receive hugs, is a cuddler, understands we are all God's children and nobody is perfect, can recite movie lines with me, likes to read, wants to travel and see the world, is a BIG family man, loves children, wants at least 3, won't hit them, won't spank them, will discipline with love, will treat all our children equally, sets a great example of how a father/husband should be, non-selfish, fits in and gets along with his family, accepts my family for who and what they are, fits in and gets along with my family, reads stories with kids, plays games with kids, is fully capable of giving a father's blessing, blesses, baptizes, and confirms all of our children, will tell me I'm beautiful in the middle of giving birth, will talk to our children while they're in my belly, doesn't freak out when I scratch his back, gives foot massages,back rubs, hand massages, holds my hand whenever, wherever, whyever, keeps promises, likes-will put up with-country music, will listen to music we both like while we both are in the car, won't bring me roses because he knows I likes carnations, observative, knows my likes and dislikes, knows everything about me inside and out; if asked what my favorite color is - he'd know; favorite animal - he'd know; pet peeves - he'd know; bad habits - he'd know, likes to watch musicals, spunky, crazy, leader of his "group", will write a song or poem with my name in it, courteous driver, will shave my legs, paint my toenails, brush my hair - just for fun, helps with daily chores, flirts with me, not afraid to be a goofball, will keep bugs outside, protector, comforter, fantastic lover, will be the bigger man, makes the first moves most of the time, doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs, will go somewhere for and or with me even if he doesn't want to - just because it'll make me happy =) -, not obsessed with himself, athletic, graceful winner, not a sore loser, understands "it's just a game", spontaneous, likes the cold, friendly to animals, won't push my buttons to the point of anger, truly a genuine guy, good listener - when time is right, tidy, creative, will call at least once during the day to see how I am doing, wants me to be a stay at home wife/mother, will do crafty things with me, handyman, understand that sometimes I just want to be held and sometimes I just need to cry, is not a video game junkie, will be madly in love with me.

I always hoped I'd be that girl that would see her future husband and just know that we were meant to be together, but it took a while for me to love my loving, goofy, wonderful husband. When I first met Jason, he was just "that funny guy" that hung around the institute. I'm sure you're asking me, Jess, you and Jason don't even have kids. How do you know that he will be a good dad? He's only 27, he still has 48 more years before he's 75! My answer is, I just know. When we first started "being friends", Jason was babysitting his nephew. I would go hang out every now and then and he was so wonderful with his nephew. He wouldn't let his nephew get away with whatever he wanted and by how much his nephew loved him and wanted him to be there 24-7, I knew that Jason was a GREAT uncle. We would hang out with his friend from high school who had a baby and that little girl refused to call me anything but Jason. AND, it's sad when your friend comes to pick you up, you go about town with her little girls and when they are dropping you off, one of the little girls says, "Mom, take me back to Jason and Jessica's cause I want to hang out with Jason." Ya, I'm jealous.

Also, you are very right. I won't see Jason at the ripe age of 75 for another 48 years, but I know he will be more handsome than ever, because... well look at him!

HE'S A SEXY BEAST!

Happy Birthday Honey Bear! You are my everything!