Day of luck? Maybe. I will apologize right now for not writing this in a journal, cause I may get negative, but this is to prove that to some of you who think I have a perfect life, I don't.
I woke up this morning with Jason and sent him on his way to work. I went back to bed for a little while, more like quite a few hours. When I woke up at about 9:30, I was still in a funk and thought, instead of lounging all day in my pj's, no make up on and hair in a ponytail, I thought taking a shower, doing my make-up and hair would make me feel better. Only so much...
Today I was supposed to find out if I was pregnant or not, and I can pretty much tell, I'm not. Every time I thought I might have been, the first question asked is, "Do you feel pregnant?" Being that I've never been pregnant, I have no clue what that feels like, and since I don't feel any worse, or better for that fact, than I usually do, I can honestly say, without going and purchasing another stupid piece of plastic, I am not. =( I've been trying not to let that get me down, as last night I had a burning in my heart that confirmed I will have kids, just not right now. We will have them when He is ready to give them to us.
I went to the college today to get some money back for classes that I had signed up for at the beginning of the semester. I started with 3 online classes and am down to one cause they are harder than I thought. However, I was informed by the cashier that I had to have dropped my classes by Jan 29 for a partial refund and because I dropped them the first week of Feb, there is no money due to me and I still owe the college funds for classes I didn't take. =( Perfect.
So, here I thought I was taking some steps forward, trying to get ahead in life, and as always, have been put in my place feeling lower than normal.
I'm off to go clean a Scout shirt with a smile on my face so I can enjoy the wonderful smile and hug I will receive when the wearer puts it on feeling loved. =)
Oh, and I am wearing green so don't pinch me.
Happy St Patty's Day.
1 comment:
I am so sorry my darling. I know how it feels to want it so badly and not be able to have it. I just want you to know that I love you and you will be amazing when it does happen. I am always here if you want to talk.
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