Not this month...

Well, here it is November first. I was really really hoping that October was our "special" month. I have been on a higher dose of metformin for a few months now, and in September I had my first real cycle in many many months. (sorry for those of you who this is too graphic for-I'm trying not to be too gross)

I checked the ovulation calculator on parents.com, using 28 and 32 day cycles as a guideline and made sure to get the stuff I needed. Towards the middle to end of October I was expecting Mother Nature to visit me again. I had tender breasts, a little cramping, I was feeling nauseous a lot, getting headaches (which I haven't had in a while), and had a couple lashing out's at Jason which there were no reasons for. I took a test a few days before Mother Nature was supposed to be here and though I prayed for it to be positive, it was negative. On day 30, I was still having symptoms and broke down to take another test which again was negative. =(

I joked with my friend Krystaly that I wished we came with buttons. Your pregnancy button goes off when you're pregnant, that way you aren't confusing pregnancy with regular cycle symptoms and you don't waste a lot of money trying to figure it out!!!

By the end of week 5 (day 35), I was down in the dumps again. I was mad at my body for not working the way it should. I was frustrated with myself for having all the cycle signs, but for not getting the most important, a visit from mom letting me know that yes you have all the parts and they are working accordingly.

All week long I was trying to be a good sport. I felt bad for not dressing up as much as I could've at Jenny's party, I was slacking in keeping the house up, laundry, work... it sucked. By Wednesday I was feeling better and Jason gave me a pep talk and I was getting back to normal. I kept taking my pills, getting focused on life again and proceeded. Then,Thursday, before our ward Halloween party, it started. I was so excited!!!!

I may not be pregnant, but my body is picking up to where it should be! Jason and I celebrated that I have a 41 day cycle. Hey, 41 is a lot better than 90+ something. Though I would greatly dread being pregnant in Vegas in the summer, and I swore I would never let it happen, I would be just fine with whatever I get. Here's to hoping for this month!