In November Jason and I gave a talk in Sacrament meeting. It was on having Courage and being of good cheer. I picked to talk on Courage and of course brought up my favorite story of courage... Esther. She was such a great inspiration to me growing up.
Esther was one of a few women that I greatly admired in the scriptures. Ruth was quite amazing too. I wanted to learn more about other people, more specifically women in the scriptures. There is a series called Women in Genesis by Orson Scott Card that I had bought from the book store. Leah and Rachel was the smallest book, so I read that one first. What an amazing story! I must admit I didn't care much to learn about these women, nor did I know who they were. After reading the book I felt so much more enlightened and had so much more respect for these women as they played a HUGE role in the history of this world. I had Sarah and Rebekah but was holding off on reading them for no known reason. I think I just found other books or things to do.
When the Women of the Old Testament book came out late last year, I bought it for me for Christmas. It has every single woman in the Old Testament down to little girls that didn't even have their names mentioned. A few weeks back I kept having Sarah pop into my head. I was unsure why, but then I started thinking of Sarah. From what I knew of her, she was Abraham's wife, couldn't get pregnant, her handmaid bore Abraham a son, and then FINALLY she had Isaac in her and Abraham's old age.With the current situation, I felt inspired to read Sarah and get to know her more. I love historical fiction cause generally the authors use real events, but they add dialog and other embellishments to make the story more exciting and fun. I'm currently about a third of the way through the book.
It begins with Sarai, as that was her name then, as a little girl and her sister, Qira, getting married to Lot. Abram, as that was his name then, sets up the marital arrangement and meets Sarai. He promises to come back for her in 10 years, but after eight years Abram is not able to wait any longer and they get married.
I'm at a part in the book where Abram and Sarai go to visit the Pharaoh of Egypt. Abram had told everyone that Sarai was actually his sister, Milcah, in hopes that they will survive this trip, cause if Pharaoh knew that Sarai was who she was, a princess of noble bloodline, Abram will be killed so Pharaoh could marry Sarai. This is also the time that Hagar is given to Sarai as a gift from Pharaoh. Hagar learns that Sarai is Abram's wife and must keep it secret. She also knows that Sarai hasn't been able to bear any children. The two women have very strong personalities, so it's not surprising that the two quarrel. It's fun to see how they disagree and let misunderstandings come between them, but they eventually work things out.
The inspiration I received last night from the chapter I was reading helped me immensely. Sarai was praying to the God of Abram asking why he is hiding from her when other gods that she doesn't believe in are there mocking her and making her barren. She asked for hope and strength to conquer her doubts. Hagar seeing Sarai after the prayer says, "I have not seen such weeping in many years. Please don't cry so much." The two women talk about God, whom Hagar is having a hard time believing in, and the their current situation of Sarai not being able to see Abram, not being allowed to help with chores, and many other things. Hagar gets frustrated of fighting with her Mistress and addresses her as so:
["Mistress, why do you argue with me? You're a woman with a noble heart, not just a noble bearing. If your god is a God of gods, as you say, then he knows that. And for all you know, Mistress, he is planning great things for you if you only have the patience to wait for them."
Sarai opened her mouth to argue once again, but then realized: I asked God for an answer. Whose mouth did I think his answer would come from? Could Hagar's words not be God's answer to me? Be patient and wait. God is planning great things. "Once again, Hagar, you have taught me wisdom."]
Sometimes I think we look for answers to our prayers in the wrong way. A lot of you help me in being patient, but sometimes it's really hard. It's not that I don't take your advice and hugs, but sometimes I feel a letter in the mail from Heavenly Father or an angel dropping by to tell me to be patient are asking too much. lol Those scenarios are definitely not going to happen, and I need to start having better faith in how prayers are answered. I know one day Jason and I will have children. The trial is in finding things to occupy my mind and time until that blessed day comes.
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