Friends... How many of us have them?

What characteristics does someone have to have to call you a friend?

Some may answer, they need to call me once a day. They need to have the same interests as me. They need my help. I need their help. Someone who likes the same movies as me. Someone who can finish my sentence (meaning the people that say "gosh" to my "oh my". That doesn't count, everyone knew what the next word was going to be). Some people just want friends no matter how great of a friend they are just so they can feel loved and accepted. I am more of the, I will talk with friends, hang out with friends, but only my best friends learn about all my skeletons.

Have you ever gone shopping for a friend? I have. Though there were many times I hated my move to Missouri, it was the best thing that could've happened to me. One of the greatest things I came back to Vegas with, was a friendship that would last forever.

While being in Missouri, I also came to realize what a friend is. My third grade teacher taught me many great life lessons. The one that has helped me become who I am is the great saying "Treat others as you wish to be treated." I realized this meant in EVERY aspect. It didn't apply just to, if I don't hit them, they won't hit me. It applied to, I'm going to give you the best kind of friendship I know how to give, because that's the kind of friendship I want in return.

Though I know many people, and at one point or another hung out with everyone, I consider a "best" friend someone who will be as honest with me as I am with them, even if it may hurt your feelings. Best friends will let you know that they saw your boyfriend kissing some other girl on the bus. Best friends tell you, "Jess, I know you better than you know yourself and if you kiss that boy, it's not going to end well" (and when you do end up kissing that boy, and it fails miserably, they are there to help you gather up what's left of your broken heart and piece it back together. Best friends give you something to look up to, that makes you want to be a better person (I'm not talking about jealousy, that's completely different). Best friends help you sing the song in your heart when you have forgotten the words.

This may all sound so cheesy to you, but I do have a point. This afternoon I went with a friend to go get some G's (religious clothing). She is going through the temple for the first time and I am so excited for her. She and I have found each other in fun times in our lives. While shopping she was trying to take in everything and I was trying to give some input (wanted or not) and also trying to keep her girls from hitting everything with their umbrellas. Her family is far away and I love being a fill in sister. She is someone I see everyday and never get sick of cause later today we went on a movie date.
Before heading to the movies, I logged on facebook and saw that another dear friend has a mother being admitted to a hospice. This girl and I butted heads in the beginning of our friendship, but I care for her just like a sister. I've been talking with her here and there about her mom and life yet, something told me to have Jason call her. They were friends in high school and after, and though I'm sure she would've loved a phone call from me, I knew she needed Jason. I'm not sure what all was said. I do know that I have a peace in my heart for her. Jason said that they had a good chat, and good food, but overall, he thinks she's a little calmer.

Christmas was weird for me this year. I didn't have the spirit I generally do which is overwhelming to most people. This was the first year I didn't get to celebrate with my sister. My real sister, Jenny. Not to freak out, she's ok. She just went to Mexico with my brother and his wife to celebrate the holiday. I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did, but I know that her absence was a lot of my "whatever" attitude. I think the reason we were sisters is cause in life, we probably wouldn't have been friends. She and I were very opposite growing up, and as a little sister, there was a lot that I took and was afraid to dish out. However, there could not have been a more perfect sister given to me. She and I talk about everything! It's only taken us 30 years to get where we are, but I wouldn't change it. A lot of people take her the wrong way. They think she's mean and bratty. When it comes down to it though, wouldn't you rather have someone say, "Don't wear that, that color is terrible on you!" on your preparation for a date with a guy than someone who doesn't say anything and let's you walk out of the house looking like a fool? And, as for bratty, she knows what she wants. If she's going to be so picky about certain things she buys, you know that whatever gift she's getting for you is going to be the one that she would get for herself.

When shopping for a best friend, make sure you get a true genuine friend. These are people that care just as much for your happiness as you do theirs. This means, if I love playing board games but you would rather go watch a movie in the theaters, instead of making me watch a movie with you every time we're together, let me have a board game night. It means posting a not so flattering pic of you on the web, because it's an adorable pic of them.

In college I seemed to date all premissionaries. It's just what I did so I could finish college and not get tied down and having to drop out cause wifing and mommying were too much. One guy in particular was a really great friend of mine. I told him I wasn't going to wait for him, but I secretly wanted to. However, life happened and 6 months before he came home, I was living with my high school crush. A friend of mine dragged me to a singles dance and here came my return missionary and I broke down in his arms. For a year and a half I went through hell with my boyfriend cause he could not compare to this return missionary in any way. It had finally ended between us and the day I called the return missionary hoping to start up our old flame, he told me he was engaged. I admit, I was crushed for about 1 millionth of a second, and then I was overjoyed! How great is it that someone I care about so deeply found someone that makes him completely happy. I didn't think there was anyone that compared to that Return Missionary, but sorry Todd, Jason outdid your kissing and singing. lol (Call when you guys get back from Sacramento so we can hang out.)

Being a good friend doesn't mean that you always get things your way. It means you should hurt when your friend hurts. It's crying with them when they are overflowing with happiness. It's kidnapping them for a night cause their kids are driving them crazy. It's letting them pack your stuff, move it out and into their house cause you couldn't do it yourself. It's.... being the kind of friend you want them to be to you.

I am so thankful for the friends I have. The family that are my friends and the friends that are practically family.

No longer a poster child

A year ago today I was the poster child for stress case.
-I hated my job and was trying to transfer to a different position but no go.
-trying to find the source of my unfertileness, no go.
-learning to live with mom again, somewhat go.

My regular girl doc repeatedly had no appt's for me, so I was forced to see his R.N. Generally I am ok with seeing R.N.'s cause in the past I have had some great ones. However, this one was a beast. She never listened to my concerns, treated me for things that I didn't need treated, prescribed whatever the drug rep's wanted her to and in the meantime made me into a female version of the Incredible Hulk. Every time she had to touch me I felt I offended her cause I left feeling bruised and abused.

After a month or so of her abuse, she finally referred me to an Endocrinologist to find out the source of why I am not getting pregnant. This guy ran blood tests every month for a few months and then told me to go see his OB/GYN "friend" for a second opinion. I went to his friend whose office was TERRIBLE!!! They always charged me for a specialist co-pay, treated me terribly cause I was not one of their 20 yr old knocked up Hispanic girls, and was very unsanitary. I actually got to see the Dr and though I was impressed with him and his answers. He told me he wanted to get my body pregnant ready which is what I wanted. Though I liked him and where I saw the situation going, I did not care to go there ever again cause he didn't impress me that much that I would put up with his horrible staff.

As if this crap wasn't enough, work was nearly equally as horrible. I could never do anything right. Even when I thought I did something right, I was told it wasn't good enough. To work with someone(s) who are constantly judging people on their appearances was very taxing. Kid you not, if you worked in a restaurant, would you make fun of what the health inspector was wearing to inspect your restaurant?! NO! You'd be making sure all your t's were crossed and i's dotted so when they had a question, you were ready to answer. But making fun of them was more important. And seriously, if it took you 15 minutes to find out whose job it was to fill the copier with paper, wouldn't you just fill the stupid thing and save the other 10 minutes for more important work?

Not to mention that I left my house at 730 am to get to work by 830, and then as long as traffic was ok, I would get home around 615 pm. That's right, my whole day evolved around work. There could've been a way for me to work from a branch closer to home, but I had already burnt bridges by hanging out and around the "other kids". I was refused plenty of times for a different position at one of the 3 branches closer to home and working from home as were 3 other employees. I realized that they didn't care about me at all and if I didn't care about me, then no one would.

My mom was also on month 4 of living with us. Big change from living on my own (for the most part) for the last 10 years. I use to get so angry that Jason would get home at 1 pm, and she would get to spend so much more time with Jason than me. I was still at work for 5-6 more hours!!!

January brought new resolutions. I was hoping to go back to school again. I hoped to get pregnant. I hoped to get healthier so I could get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I wanted to be a better wife.

By April, I quit my job and found a new one. Closer to home and a lot less stress. I went to a R.N. my friend referred me to who put me on Metformin. Jason and I also started realizing that though mom is a guest in our house, who shouldn't have to entertain her. We were able to find a balance between giving up all our Jason and Jess time to only giving up some of it.

Here we are, at the near end of 09 and I am happy to say, Life is so good. Work is stressful some days, but at the end of the day, I go home and leave the stress at work. I am working part time and it's great. I'm home to cook for Jason some days. We spend a lot more time together. The Metformin has been working great. I've lost about 30 lbs since being put on it in March. They upped my dose in July/August and I have been having almost normal cycles which means we can hopefully get pregnant in the next few months.

I know everything happens for a reason. I know that everything happens when it's supposed to. It's pretty known, or at least I hope I've made it clear enough, that when we do finally get pregnant, it will be just Jason and I in the house preparing for Baby Graf to join our humble abode. So, in the meantime, I am making the best out of work and praying that mom sells her house. I know that this time will also help me and Jason prepare ourselves in becoming healthier.

Jason met me for lunch on Monday. We went to Wendy's. I use to be able to eat a triple cheeseburger with a large fry and drink from there and still be hungry. My appetite has shrunk to where I can barely finish my single cheeseburger, small fry and drink. I usually throw out 1/2 the fries and nearly the whole drink. Jason, who always eats his double or triple cheeseburger and finishes what I don't want of mine, got a single. I asked him if he was feeling ok, and his response really touched me. He said, "I've had to convince myself that I don't always need to eat a triple cheeseburger just cause I know I can."

Today I went to a new girl doctor. I have decided to never see my previous doctor again because I hate the way I'm treated there and it's so far away. I needed someone closer to my side of town. I loved that I got a few minutes to talk to him in his office before we jumped right on the table and had an examination. He wanted to know why I was there, we talked about getting pregnant. He understood why I was hesitant to go on Clomid. I also love that his office looks like how I want my house to look, warm, cozy and inviting.

I know the next few months are going to be amazing. I know that we have been blessed immensely over the last year and this next year is going to be so much better!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Some of my favorite pic's from the photo shoot with Jenny.

New experience I never want to relive...

My last post stems from Tuesday afternoon. I wanted to blog about my situation on Tuesday at United Blood, but hadn't had the emotional strength to do so. I believe I have enough now.

I take pride in being a platinum donator at United Blood. That means in the last year I've donated at least 3 times. I never gave blood before due to a terrible fear of needles, but I figured, maybe by donating and being stabbed by a needle every few months would help me conquer my fear. Also a year ago I was having blood tests ran every other week it seemed like, so now, it's no big deal.

Jason has never gone with me, 1. he's usually working, 2. in high school I remember him saying that he tried giving blood and because he's always had high blood pressure, they said not to donate. We've been working a lot on his blood pressure and we have it under control most days. So, I convinced him to come with me to my donation appointment on Tuesday, December 8, and give if he could. He agreed (like he wouldn't?!).

I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to donate because mother nature and I had been visiting for the week prior and I figured my iron would be low. The attendant helping me told me that I couldn't; My iron was at an 11.7 and you need to be at at least 30. So, she told me to reschedule for a few weeks. Jason on the other hand, because I wasn't staying for my double like we'd hoped was going to give a full blood donation.

They had us snack in the snack area while they prepped his seat. He filled up on lots of juices and cookies. Figures. As we were over there, I asked him what blood type he had. Without hesitation he said B+. I laughed cause I thought, that's way too coincidental for my always happy positive Jason to have B+ blood type. So I told him to tell me the truth. He ran through a few other ones and I told him to stop messing around and tell me what he has. He then told me again with his "I've already told you the truth smirk", "B+". I didn't believe him and made him show me his donor card. All be dang! He is B+. (For those not getting this, I was thinking "Be Positive".)

They took him to his spot and I pulled up a chair next to him. We were all talking and joking and having a great time, well as much fun as you can have while a needle is being jammed into you/your spouse. There was about a half pint of blood in the sack when there was a clot somewhere in the tube to the sack. The attendant was trying to fix it, but every time she thought she had, it would clog again. Another gal, very beastly thing, came over and started jerking with the needle. She pushed it in, pulled it out, and repeated the action many times hoping to free whatever the clot was. In the meantime, they ask me to get Jason some juice to help him focus on something else other than this lady butchering his vein. He tells me he wants pineapple juice so I go get him some.

I come back seconds later and they're still trying to figure this out. The lady ends up trying to get him a new bag and as she goes away, Jason drifts into la la land. That's right... He passed out! He had been bracing himself from the pain and forgot to breathe.

I got so scared! I kept tapping his face trying to get him to snap out of it. Nothing. I started squishing his cheeks together (cause this annoys him). Nothing. As he's laying there, facing me, pale white, I start to really freak cause his eyes are blank yet he's looking at me. I saw some ceiling popcorn in his eye, went to get it out (yes, as he's passed out) and he didn't even flinch! HE HATES PEOPLE TOUCHING HIS FACE! So, now I'm getting real nervous. He's been out for at least a minute. He is snoring so I know he's breathing, but can't we close his eyes?!

By this time, the beastly woman is back and telling me that I need to go have a seat and let her take care of him. I wanted to punch her cause she's the one that put him in that situation!! The sweet nice attendant then starts telling me he's coming out of it. I asked how she knew and she said cause the color is coming back to him. REALLY?! His eyes rolled in the back of his head, his eye lids close and he turned hot pink. THAT'S COMING OUT OF IT?!

A few moments later he opens his eyes and they were asking him questions.
Attendant: Who are you?
Jason: Jason. Who are you?
Attendant: Where are you?
Jason: Donating blood. Where do you think we are?

Laughter emerges and the attendant looks at me to ask if he's always this funny and through a hysterical outburst, I answered, yes. I was already having an emotional day, and I had been holding it pretty good, but that pushed me over the edge.

The only people I've seen pass out/faint are those stupid girls in plays or on TV and THAT IS NOT how it is in real life. Maybe that's why I try not to watch TV anymore. Jason felt terrible for making me cry, and he wanted to get up and hug me, but then I felt terrible for making him feel terrible, which then made me cry more. lol

The poor guy, I wouldn't leave his side for the rest of the day. He kept telling me he was fine, and it was everything I could do to let him shower alone. I couldn't imagine not having Jason in my life. I try not to think about later on in life and not having him with me. I refuse to accept life without him. I pray that when we go it will be together, like in an accident (quick and painful), or like the Notebook (peaceful and ready).

Most of you have people in your life that mean everything to you. Let them know how much you care about them. Tell them when you're thinking about it. Tell them often, cause you may not get the chance again.

When you finally get a good grasp on someone...

DON'T LET THEM GO!

Turkey Day makes me tingle

This year we are staying close to home. To be exact, we're actually only heading 1.4 miles southwest to my brother Mike's house for Thanksgiving.

When Mike sent out the invites, he made it clear he would be attending one, just one, Thanksgiving dinner and if anyone wanted to see him, they could come to his house. So, his in-laws are coming from Mexico, outer Nevada and I think other parts of Vegas, and my uncle Mike and family are coming from LA, grandma is here from Tahachapi or Bakersfield or wherever she is actually calling home now, and then the rest of us from the valley. There is supposed to be about 25-30 of us. I'm really quite excited about the whole thing.

I'm in charge of green bean casserole, as usual. Jenny's doing an assortment of potatoes, as usual. Mom's doing pies with Uncle Mike. Mikey's making 3 turkeys. *sigh* Thinking about all the food makes me tingle inside.

I hope you all have a tingling Turkey Day!

Mentha Foot Lotion

Mentha. Merriam-Webster describes it as Spearmint. When I say it, it reminds me of menthol. I've never been a smoker, never tried it in fact, but I have heard my menthol light smoker friends say that the menthol is cooling.

Menthol. Merriam_Webster says 1 : a crystalline alcohol C₁₀H₂₀O that occurs especially in mint oils and has the odor and cooling properties of peppermint. HA! So I'm right!

Well, a while ago I got this fantastic mentha foot lotion from Bath and Body works. It is a heavenly feeling when I put it on my feet. The cooling sensation is supposed to relax my feet and oh boy, does it! I have a few peppermint lotions too which are fantastic.

Well, this morning, I was getting ready for church and had just gotten out of the shower when I sat on the bed to put my make up on. My face lotion fell, and as I was trying to lean down to get it, it rolled further under the bed than expected, and so my towel wouldn't fall off, I asked Jason to pass me the Mentha lotion sitting right in front of him.

I thought to myself, that makes my feet feel so good, I wonder what it will do for my face! I squirted a little dab on my knee and started rolling my q-tip in it (I was trying to start my make up session with removing the leftover mascara underneath my eyes, left by the cleanser I used). I brought my mirror to face level, brought my q-tip to eye level, and began to clear under my right eye. For a short instant, there was a wonderful cooling sensation followed by horrible wretched BURNING!!! I started freaking out and Jason says, "You didn't just put that on your eye, did you?!"

Um, ya. I did. He offered a different lotion, water, and other stuff but I just kept thinking, if it's a chemical burn, don't put any other chemicals on it, so I just kept fanning my eye with my hand til I could stand the burning. Shortly thereafter Jason came and got my lotion from underneath the bed. I rubbed the leftover mentha lotion into my knee and to make sure I didn't get more on the other eye when I used the other lotion, I squirted some on my left knee. Ya, I'm a big dork.

So, My eye finally calmed down, but as I was dressing for church, I felt like my leg was still wet. It felt like the ceiling fan was still drying my right knee. I grabbed my towel and tried to dry it, but it was still cold! DUH! That was the knee I rubbed the excess lotion on. ha ha ha

K-to make this story even funnier, here it is, 10:20 at night, and Grandma is going to bed. She comes into the computer room, where I am typing furiously trying to tell you all about my day that she had no clue about, and tells me, "if you want to use something good for your face, use this." It was aloe vera gel. ha ha ha thanks grandma. Next time my lotion falls on the floor, I will either 1. get up and get it and rewrap my towel if it falls off my head, or 2. use aloe vera gel.

Luck on our side

So, Wednesday we went to San Fran for the day. As mentioned in the blog about the newlywed trivia game, the day was starting out pretty normal.

WARNING: Some things in this particular blog are not for children and certain adults.

For those of you who aren't up to date on different cultures, the Chinese are very superstitious and rely a lot on luck. (i.e. Fortune cookies, crickets, shoes off at front door, etc.) While shopping in Chinatown I found that the little scary maneki neko cats bring good luck, fortune or customers. I prayed that even though I didn't buy one, they would forgive me and still be willing to bring me luck. I also prayed that the big fat happy man, Buddha, would also grant me some luck.

**On a side note - I don't know if it's cause I have too much testosterone in my system, but I am ALWAYS feeling quite saucy. Because we get bored at night, I like to take Jason's attention away from WoW by kissing his neck, biting/sucking on his finger, among many other things just to get his blood pumping a little. I also love holding his hand whenever feasible, so when we're out walking, or sitting on the couch, or cooking, if he's not holding my hand, I will stick mine out and if he isn't aware that I have my hand out to him and he doesn't grab it, I will sneakily tickle his "boys" so I can get his attention and pretty soon there after we are holding hands. Ha ha ha

Well, quite a few things happened at Fisherman's Wharf, that I'm hoping will help get more luck on our side. Throughout the day we all got walking next to each other, me and Shelley, me and Toney or me and Jason. Right by the welcome sign to the wharf it's very crowded and we were trying to bypass the food stands selling fresh crab cakes and soup and other delights. I paused for a moment, which in this particular situation felt like an hour, and tried to get Jason to hold my hand. I was at the beginning of all of us trying to maneuver through this crowd and didn't want to lose him. Due to all the many things to see and so many different things going on, Jason didn't grab my hand. So, I resorted to tickling. About 3 seconds into my tickling I heard Toney clear his throat. Ha ha ha Whoops! I did my "CRAP! OH MY GOSH I'M SUCH A DORK!" and apologized many times to Toney who just kept laughing, and then many times to Jason who was trying to console me, and quite a few times to Shelley too, who was laughing at me while trying to console me.

They were all good sports about it. Toney promised he wasn't going to tell anyone about the incident, til I left. ha ha We all joke about Toney being very fertile. He kept promising me how he would love telling our kid about the time I got pregnant at his motel (if indeed it happened).

Also while shopping on Pier 39, we came across a Fairy store. Not a fruity rainbow fairy store, but a magical fairy store. I was stoked when the owner told me that I could get fairy dust on my cheek. I picked out a pretty hot pink color, made a wish and he then waved his wand and put fairy dust on me (sorry, that sounds dirty, but whatev). And yes, of course I made Jason get some too! Great, so I've walked through Chinatown with all their good luck stuff being crammed down my throat, tickled a fertile mans penis, and now got fairy dust on me. I was thinking, there's no way I can't get pregnant on this trip! Jason and I prayed quite a few times for us to get pregnant this trip, and as we were driving home, somewhere between Bakersfield and Stateline, Jason and I saw a shooting star. We both wished on it.


***I wish this month is THE month!***

How well do you know your spouse?

My friend Toney is a huge trivia fan. I think he enjoys being the question giver 1. cause he gets to control the points, and 2. he likes to see what people know.

So, on our trip to and from San Francisco (from Sacramento) we played the Newlywed Trivia game but the Toney Meredith Version. It's really interesting when put on the spot to see what exactly you do know about your significant other. Toney and Shelley have been together for a few years, but only recently got married in August. Jason and I are approaching 2 years of being married, but we've been friends for quite a while. You would think you would know all the basics, but how the answers are given were a huge part in the world of "*undecisivers".

*An undecisiver is someone who doesn't have a favorite. So when asked favorite color, food, etc, instead of saying 10 different things cause they don't have a favorite, they come up with, "Right now, my favorite is ____, but it changes.

First question given by Toney-Jason, what is Jessica's favorite color?
Jason-Right now it's probably the color of my eyes.
Toney-Jessica, is that right?
Jessica-That is a favorite, but right now it's blue. ha ha ha
(no point)

Toney-Jessica, what is Jason's favorite food?
Jessica-Right now, anything. He's looking hungry.

There were also questions that I think Toney was a little skeptical about the answers.

Toney-Jessica, if Jason won the lottery and won 21 million dollars, what would be the first thing he would buy?
Jessica-He wouldn't buy anything. He would pay the debts and then invest.
Toney-Jason? Seriously?
Jason-Yep, that's what I'd do.
Toney-Ok, let me rephrase this. If Jason won 21 million dollars, and paid all his debts and invested some, what would be the first thing he would buy.
Jessica-(with some giggling cause I know Toney's not going to believe me)He wouldn't buy anything. We would travel. So, I guess it would be tickets to somewhere.
Toney-Seriously?
Jason-Ya, she pretty much nailed it.
Jessica-We don't buy things, we experience things.

Things I can't believe we got wrong:
Food that Jessica hates (correct answer is Strawberries and Jason kicked himself when I said the right one cause it's his favorite!)
Strangest place we made out (Jason said on the side of the highway coming back from Lake Las Vegas through Lake Mead highways. I thought it would have been one of our parent's houses. lol)

So it begins...

Since I was little I have dreamed of going to San Francisco. Jason and I have desperately needed to get away from our house. Get away from Vegas. Away from work. Away from our everyday lives and we were planning on going to Tahoe, but a few weeks ago, as I was telling my friend Toney we should meet up with him while we are up north, I thought, you know, we should just go to Sacramento and hang out there. Then we'll be a few hours from Reno and San Fran. SAN FRAN?!

With hardly any persuasion needed, Jason let me plan our trip to Sacramento. It snuck up on us real quick and now here it is, time to go! I will check off one of my items on my "to do before I die" list. WOOT!

We are leaving after Jason is done singing at the Priesthood session of Stake Conference and won't be back til Friday night. See ya'll later!

Not this month...

Well, here it is November first. I was really really hoping that October was our "special" month. I have been on a higher dose of metformin for a few months now, and in September I had my first real cycle in many many months. (sorry for those of you who this is too graphic for-I'm trying not to be too gross)

I checked the ovulation calculator on parents.com, using 28 and 32 day cycles as a guideline and made sure to get the stuff I needed. Towards the middle to end of October I was expecting Mother Nature to visit me again. I had tender breasts, a little cramping, I was feeling nauseous a lot, getting headaches (which I haven't had in a while), and had a couple lashing out's at Jason which there were no reasons for. I took a test a few days before Mother Nature was supposed to be here and though I prayed for it to be positive, it was negative. On day 30, I was still having symptoms and broke down to take another test which again was negative. =(

I joked with my friend Krystaly that I wished we came with buttons. Your pregnancy button goes off when you're pregnant, that way you aren't confusing pregnancy with regular cycle symptoms and you don't waste a lot of money trying to figure it out!!!

By the end of week 5 (day 35), I was down in the dumps again. I was mad at my body for not working the way it should. I was frustrated with myself for having all the cycle signs, but for not getting the most important, a visit from mom letting me know that yes you have all the parts and they are working accordingly.

All week long I was trying to be a good sport. I felt bad for not dressing up as much as I could've at Jenny's party, I was slacking in keeping the house up, laundry, work... it sucked. By Wednesday I was feeling better and Jason gave me a pep talk and I was getting back to normal. I kept taking my pills, getting focused on life again and proceeded. Then,Thursday, before our ward Halloween party, it started. I was so excited!!!!

I may not be pregnant, but my body is picking up to where it should be! Jason and I celebrated that I have a 41 day cycle. Hey, 41 is a lot better than 90+ something. Though I would greatly dread being pregnant in Vegas in the summer, and I swore I would never let it happen, I would be just fine with whatever I get. Here's to hoping for this month!

Happy Halloween Friends!

Annual RC Willey Company Picnic

Today was the Annual RC Willey Company Picnic. This is one day I look forward to every year. It's fun to see and chat with Jason's co-workers and their wives and families. I've been attending these with Jason for the last few years and every year is just as fun as the previous.

Last year, Jason got second place (though it should have been first) in the pie eating contest. This year, he tied for first. I did my wifey duty by cheering him on and telling him, "Don't taste it, just swallow it whole!!!"

They always have other activities for kids of all ages and employees, and this year it was tug of war. They had Henderson Store kids against Summerlin Store kids. Summerlin won, so then it was Summerlin kids against NDC (Nevada Distribution Center) kids. Summerlin won, but the NDC kids put up a good fight. Then it was the adults. Again, they started with Summerlin against Henderson. Henderson won. Then they brought in the NDC adults. All of us wife's were laughing cause when you think about it, NDC is where they haul furniture, move furniture, it has all the delivery guys, lift drivers, and basically all the buff guys, so us wife's knew our hubbies (and the few chicks that work there) were going to win.

The ref said go, and the NDC workers were nice to let Henderson think they might get a chance, but within 5 seconds it was over. There were so many guys (and girls) on the NDC side that you couldn't really even grab the rope! The Henderson side probably had 1/2 as many people on their side. I couldn't help laughing when the older people next to me started complaining about the match not being "fair". Let me just say this...

1. Just cause your job doesn't require you to be physically fit doesn't mean you can't work on your body.
2. If this were 20 years ago, you'd be next to me laughing at the George Burns' trying to beat the Dwayne Johnson's in Tug of War (yum... Dwayne Johnson).
3. Your husband chose to work at the other store.

All the other matches were so close they did best 2 out of 3. After the first win, they asked Henderson if they wanted to go again and they all were shaking their heads and saying "no". Ha ha ha good times.

The weather was perfect. The food was good. The company was great. Can't wait for next year!

Roller Derby

My sister in law, Katie (aka The Force), is involved in many different things. Tonight we were able to support her and the Sin City Roller Girls at their opening season bout tonight. Katie is part of the Tommy Gun Terrors. She is usually a jammer, which is the girl that makes it through the pack to score points. When she's not a jammer, she's a pivot/blocker who are the girls that try to take anyone and everyone out.

Gretchen and the girls and their cousin, Briana, were able to go with Jason, mom and I as we met up with Mike, Bobby and Jenny to watch the game. Mike and Bobby saved front row seats on crash corner (the corner that gets the most action). Jenny, the little girls and I sat on the floor in front of them which the little girls loved cause they got to see dog piles and crashes right in front of us!

The first half of the game TGT was down by half the points. It was 52 to 24 and then it was 67 to 36. By the end of the bout, TGT got back in gear and was able to makeit a very close bout. The final score we're not sure of cause they kept changing it, but it was 92ish to 94ish. So, it was a close game if they did win or lose (I'll have to ask Katie for sure who won). There were many crashes, a dogpile up and a lot more fun and most importantly, nachos.

Their next bout is November 14th at the Sahara Event Center (Sahara and Maryland) at 7 pm against the Notorius V.I.P.'s. Tickets are $7 when purchased in advance, otherwise they're $10 at the door.Kids under 10 and EMT's are free as long as they can provide proof of being an EMT. Go to their website to learn more about tickets and the team http://www.sincityrollergirls.com/joomla/ Oh! Their colors are florescent green and black. So represent!

I saw this on a friends site today...

Sometimes it's hard to be patient.

Pom Picking

As most of you know, my mom loves to garden. She use to make us help her weed, and in Vegas, sometimes it was fun, but due to my deep hatred for bugs, I generally HATE gardening. I don't care if it's a small avid, a pumpkin bug or a HUGE Tomato worm, I hate bugs! The only place they should be is at the ugly bug ball!

I was at Kiki's house yesterday, hanging out, taking tests and helping editing when I saw a random man with a box heading towards the orchard. I asked Kiki who he was and what he was doing and she said that it's pom picking season so people are coming over all the time to pick some. Before I went home, She, Kylan and I went into the orchard and picked 3 boxes full. I wasn't too sure about getting under trees and climbing around in them cause in Missouri, there is generally all kinds of bugs in the trees, not to mention all types of spiders and ticks and other creepy crawlies that give me the hee-bee gee-bees. Surprisingly, it was not bad at all. Kiki found one that had bugs in it, but that was because it was 1/2 eaten by birds and bugs found their way in. I found some that had tiny spider webs in the flower part, but overall, it was bug free. The only thing on them that grossed me out was the bird poop, and that's easy to grab around.

As we were back in the orchard, Matt picked the ones off the hybrid tree outside their front door. Those ones look amazing because they are HUGE light pink pom's. I went home last night with a large box filled with pomegranates ready to be picked apart and made into something wonderful!
At volleyball last night, I told Gretchen about how I had picked pomegranates at the house and felt very cultural (by picking fruit off a tree - lol). She said she wanted to pick some, so I cleared it with Kiki to go over today. Gretchen picked me up at about 9 and we headed over. We had cleared quite a trees last night, and looking at the orchard, there wasn't much red left on the green trees. It almost seemed as if the only red left were the pom's that the birds have been eating. HOWEVER, we went to the trees on the West side of the orchard and we found PLENTY!

Izzy and Kaya were so excited to pick their own. These little girls are tough! Kaya was a little hesitant to go where Gretchen and I told her to go cause she was small enough to fit and we weren't, but for the most part, they would get right in the branches and be picking away. I didn't pick nearly as many cause I didn't want to pick one that had bugs crawling on it, or a spider on the leaves or spiderwebs around it. You could say I was quite envious of their attitudes of picking.

After a while, Izzy was ok with playing "dumper", as in we hand them to her and she dumps them in the box. I tried to hand Kaya some to dump in the box, but every time I asked her she said, "But Jessica, I'm picking my own!" It was so cute how they loved doing it. Gretchen was cracking me up because 1. she made a similar "cultural" comment like I had the night before, and 2. I told her the boxes were full and she still wanted to keep picking. "Seriously Gretchen, the boxes are overflowing." ha ha ha

October

October brings such fun good times. I love that it is Breast Cancer Awareness. I became a huge supporter of Breast Cancer awareness in college. It is the philantrophy (yes I said philantrophy not philanthropy) of the sorority I was in, ZTA. So, I love Breast Cancer Awareness for the good it does for millions of men and women, but it also reminds me of the wonderful women I got to go to school with and raise money with for the philantrophy.

I love that it is colder. September sometimes brings cold, but then it still gets hot towards the end of the month. Some of my favorite Halloween's I remember trick or treating in cold, sometimes rain. I hate the heat and if it weren't for most of my friends and family being here, I'd be outta here in no time.

I love pumpkins being every where! Fresh pumpkin in stores means there will be canned pumpkin on sale so I will be able to make pumpkin bread, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and other pumpkin type food. =) And, it's nice to be able to get $5.99 pumpkin pies at Costco.

There are also the other fun things like Ren Fair, Brewfest and Jason's Company Picnic. Last year there was a pie eating contest. The pies were frozen and though I think Jason actually ate more of his pumpkin pie, the other guy won cause his creme pie was lighter. He still got a "That could've been first place" parting gift. LOL I also get to see Melissa from high school. =) At least I know I get to see her and her cute family at least once a year.

I also love October because I gain an hour of sleep from Daylight savings, which prepares me for the next two months of wonderful holiday madness!

**Thanks Melissa for the photo!

WoW Amigos in Vegas!

Jason and I play a game pretty regularly. It consumes a lot of our time, but it's our "us" time, so it's ok. Some of you may have heard of a little game called WoW (AKA World of Warcraft). It's an online role playing game. Jason first started playing and then after a few years of fighting WoW for his attention, I gave in and started playing too. It's been so fun playing but I think one of the best parts of the games is being able to hang out with some of your friends EVERYDAY!

How do we hangout with our friends everyday if we are constantly glued to the computer everyday? Simple. We even travel to other countries and planets! Because it's an online game, we can hook our computers up in such a way that we are able to talk to them just like we would be on the phone with them. But these gamers are so much more advanced than el telephono. We use a system called Ventrillo (Vent for short). I love having my friends a Cntrl click away.

Over the last few years we've really gotten to know quite a few of our friends. Some live in Pennsylvania, some in Utah, some lived in Vegas then moved to Utah, some are in Sacramento. Some have had a kid, some of them have had kids, some are kids, some have grandkids! Some got married, most were around for our wedding. I even love being able to rat kids out that were supposed to be grounded but because mom and dad were home, they thought they could get on and get away with it.

August was very eventful for us. We first had Danny and Dave come to visit from Pennsylvania. It was Danny's birthday, so they spent a week in lovely Las Vegas. Brandi and John and their son Tyler were able to come down from SLC for a couple days. The last night they were here we met up with them at Maggiano's in the Fashion Show. It was a BLAST!

The 15th was my sister in laws birthday (Mike's wife), the 16th was my dad's birthday and then the 18th was my other sister in laws birthday (Jason's sister). Though most of the parties were scheduled on different weekends, it was still pretty busy. The following week, our friends Toney and Shelley came from Sacramento to get married and brought our other friend Ryan. They were such crack ups!!! They left the day before Jason's birthday, which is the 31st. So, we were pretty jam packed all month and though it was a very busy month, I'm glad that I made everlasting memories and got to hang out in RL with awesome friends.

Never settle for less than a fairy tale

"Now girls... I want you to make a list of the qualities and characteristics you look for in a future husband." A line I heard way too often as a teenager in Young Women's (a form of Sunday School). However, back then, I knew exactly what I wanted in a future husband. Being that I had had my eyes set on one particular boy my whole life up to that point, I wanted my future husband to be at least 6 foot tall, blond, blue eyed, has double letters in his last name, someone who played sports, someone who was nice, HOT, and knew how to spell. And, of course I had to throw in wants a temple marriage and is a return missionary just to make my young women leaders happy. There were quite a few other shallow qualities I wanted and I thought as long as the guy I marry was tall enough and hot enough, we'd be happy... FOREVER!

When I finally turned 16 and was allowed to date, I dated nearly every low life there was. I dated them 1. to make my mom mad and 2. because I lived in a place I hated at the time and didn't want to get stuck in that town forever so by dating people that I knew it wouldn't last with, I knew I would be outta there right after graduation. I went off to college, dated some more, and after a few years of college ended back in Vegas (my hometown). I went to Vegas with a few more things to add to my list of what I was looking for in a guy. I definitely DID NOT want to marry a smoker, someone who still lived at home with his parents, or someone that didn't have their own form of transportation (that means they needed their own bus pass too).

Upon moving back to Vegas, one of my really good guy friends from Podunkville, that I had a HUGE crush on in high school, told me he wanted to move to Vegas to pursue his career and to date me. I was super stoked! He moved to Vegas by summer end and we got an apartment together. Everything was perfect for the first few months. Then reality set in. Every time I thought, great, we're getting along, things would go into shambles.

Our lease was renewing and I was determined to get my own place, but after some sweet talking, I ended up signing another lease with Mr WasWonderful. I know... idiot. After another year of living with him, and losing who I was as a person, my sister showed up at the apartment, packed my stuff and took me to her house. Don't get me wrong. Mr WasWonderful is an amazing person. He truly is a genuine wonderful person, I just couldn't see myself living with him for the rest of my days.
While living with my sister (who had just gotten out of a relationship and was revamping herself), I found the little sparkle inside me that I use to have before Mr WasWonderful. [One night, for homework, I had to ask people what their best advice to me is. My moms boyfriend told me, Jess, if you don't love yourself, no one will ever be able to love you.]

My new mission was not to find someone to fall in love with, but to fall in love with myself. Journal of Love Entry 12/25/2004 Loving Yourself
A few personal goals to improve myself mentally and physically.
1. Dress Modestly
2. Be even more charitable
3. Finish School
4. Stop swearing completely
5. be more unified w/ family
6. Early to bed; Early to rise
7. Exercise
8. Eat healthier
9. Only watch, listen and read uplifting entertainment
10. Only date guys w/ high standards (that's if I dated anyone)
11. Pray more often
12. Read scriptures
13. Write in a journal
14. Observe Sunday
15. Don't spend money on unnecessary things
16. Stay w/ positive people

I started becoming active in church again, I started gaining friends again and life was finally looking up. After a few months, I was feeling great about myself and life. Now that I finally cared about myself again, I figured I would start actively dating again... that's if the demand was high enough for Jessica's. I didn't want to just date anyone though. One night I wrote down MY GUY: in my love journal. First thing was Responsible - financially, able to buy a car, house, and provide food/clothing for family, doesn't necessarily have to be a return missionary - but must possess those qualities (i.e. testimony, dealing w/ a person you hate/love, etc.), tall perfect teeth, absolutely gorgeous, beautiful smile - smiles a lot, caring, is okay with the fact that he'll have to be mine and only mine for eternity, can deal with others differences, cleans up after himself, knows the honor of serving others, has a strong testimony, likes to dance, is good at dancing, will take me on carriage rides, traditional, laughs at my jokes when they aren't funny, won't put me down. Funny how this is only the beginning. I went on for 5 pages about what I wanted in a future husband. The list continues... dresses like he just stepped out of a magazine, opens my doors, is proud of the quirky, silly, successful person I am, loves all my faults, sings great and will serenade me on occasion, helps me keep the romance alive in our relationship, plays an instrument, cooks great meals on occasion, will have great communication with me, snores, is cautious about personal hygiene, smells like a GQ magazine, has and keeps a respectable job, still looks great at 75 yrs of age, great kisser, loves to give and receive hugs, is a cuddler, understands we are all God's children and nobody is perfect, can recite movie lines with me, likes to read, wants to travel and see the world, is a BIG family man, loves children, wants at least 3, won't hit them, won't spank them, will discipline with love, will treat all our children equally, sets a great example of how a father/husband should be, non-selfish, fits in and gets along with his family, accepts my family for who and what they are, fits in and gets along with my family, reads stories with kids, plays games with kids, is fully capable of giving a father's blessing, blesses, baptizes, and confirms all of our children, will tell me I'm beautiful in the middle of giving birth, will talk to our children while they're in my belly, doesn't freak out when I scratch his back, gives foot massages,back rubs, hand massages, holds my hand whenever, wherever, whyever, keeps promises, likes-will put up with-country music, will listen to music we both like while we both are in the car, won't bring me roses because he knows I likes carnations, observative, knows my likes and dislikes, knows everything about me inside and out; if asked what my favorite color is - he'd know; favorite animal - he'd know; pet peeves - he'd know; bad habits - he'd know, likes to watch musicals, spunky, crazy, leader of his "group", will write a song or poem with my name in it, courteous driver, will shave my legs, paint my toenails, brush my hair - just for fun, helps with daily chores, flirts with me, not afraid to be a goofball, will keep bugs outside, protector, comforter, fantastic lover, will be the bigger man, makes the first moves most of the time, doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs, will go somewhere for and or with me even if he doesn't want to - just because it'll make me happy =) -, not obsessed with himself, athletic, graceful winner, not a sore loser, understands "it's just a game", spontaneous, likes the cold, friendly to animals, won't push my buttons to the point of anger, truly a genuine guy, good listener - when time is right, tidy, creative, will call at least once during the day to see how I am doing, wants me to be a stay at home wife/mother, will do crafty things with me, handyman, understand that sometimes I just want to be held and sometimes I just need to cry, is not a video game junkie, will be madly in love with me.

I always hoped I'd be that girl that would see her future husband and just know that we were meant to be together, but it took a while for me to love my loving, goofy, wonderful husband. When I first met Jason, he was just "that funny guy" that hung around the institute. I'm sure you're asking me, Jess, you and Jason don't even have kids. How do you know that he will be a good dad? He's only 27, he still has 48 more years before he's 75! My answer is, I just know. When we first started "being friends", Jason was babysitting his nephew. I would go hang out every now and then and he was so wonderful with his nephew. He wouldn't let his nephew get away with whatever he wanted and by how much his nephew loved him and wanted him to be there 24-7, I knew that Jason was a GREAT uncle. We would hang out with his friend from high school who had a baby and that little girl refused to call me anything but Jason. AND, it's sad when your friend comes to pick you up, you go about town with her little girls and when they are dropping you off, one of the little girls says, "Mom, take me back to Jason and Jessica's cause I want to hang out with Jason." Ya, I'm jealous.

Also, you are very right. I won't see Jason at the ripe age of 75 for another 48 years, but I know he will be more handsome than ever, because... well look at him!

HE'S A SEXY BEAST!

Happy Birthday Honey Bear! You are my everything!

Huge Weekend in One Tiny Blog

This is my friend Gretchen (who will probably choke me when she sees I uploaded this pic, but because I love this pic of her, I'm willing to take the beating).

We met in our ward and have been doing quite a bit together. She is my book club buddy, my sewing club buddy, my craft buddy, swimming buddy and road trippin' buddy. You may have seen her in a recent blog of when we went snowboarding.

Gretchen is an amazing person. She was born in Florida, grew up for the most part in Alaska, got pregnant in high school, gave her daughter up for adoption (which I find highly remarkable), went into the Air Force, met her husband, has two adorable little girls with him, and is a stay at home mom. (sorry if I am divulging too much to the internet world... again, you can choke me later.)

Gretchen has been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints all her life, but her hubby has and is not a member. Chad, Gretchen's husband, supports her in all her church events so when Gretchen and I were chatting a few weeks ago when we heard the announcement of the Oquirrh Temple Open House and she said she wanted to try and go I checked with Jason and we started to make plans. I had Thursday, Friday and Saturday off, so it was a perfect weekend to go up to the temple!

We decided to stay with a friend that use to live in our ward but now lives in Morgan, UT. So, Thursday, after a few errands, Gretchen, Kaya (3), Isabel (2) (AKA Izzy) and I headed up to the Mother Land. We stopped in Fillmore to let the girls stretch their legs. It was well needed. There was a playground for them to run around on and I think they thoroughly enjoyed it. We continued north and finally arrived in Morgan around 11 pm.

The next day we got up and went to the Oquirrh Open House. What a beautiful temple. I loved being able to look across the valley and see 4 different temples. The girls were a little restless from the long trip up, and Gretchen and I were thinking it may not have been such a good idea to bring them, but they loved it! Kaya and I played a game of, "How many pictures of Jesus can we count in the temple" and Izzy just loved being small enough to run through everyone's legs. They were troopers. My favorite part of the temple would probably be the creation room. Only having been to Vegas sessions, it was an interesting change. I also loved the staircases and the chandeliers, but what girl doesn't like sparkling things?

After the temple we went to a diner called Moochie's. Gretchen had seen it on an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Their cheesesteak sandwiches were good, but I didn't really care for the potato salad. The Dr Pepper as always was fantastic!!!

We then went North a few miles to Temple Square. Gretchen had not been to SLC before, so it was fun showing her around. They were doing some construction, and it was sticky hot, so we didn't stay too long. We did check out the Church Office Building, Joseph Smith Building, Visitor Center, Temple and the tabernacle. That was as much as the girls could handle. Kaya was extremely excited to get her very first Kaya size Book of Mormon.

After the temple we headed back to Morgan to hang out with the Butikofort's. After dinner, Lisa took us to her parents house down the road so the girls could see the horses. It was absolutely beautiful there.

The next day, Saturday, we went to Hogle Zoo. Again, hot sticky and cranky, so we could only stay so long. We then HAD to go to IKEA. I wish that place were more like Walmart where no one bothers you and you can check yourself out. I really did not care for some of the staff there. But, I got a lot of ideas for things to make around the house and also some ideas of where to shop when I'm looking for something for the house.

We then made our trip back. The girls were good troopers and Gretchen and I had a blast. What a fun girl trip.